7 Powerful Ideas to Trust Yourself (Again)

There was a time you trusted yourself.

But as we grow older, social belonging and status become essential to happiness. No one wants to feel excluded. And as a result, many of us begin seeking validation from others, resulting in:

• Seeking perfection and avoiding failures at all costs.
• Comparing yourself to others, never feeling good enough.
• And trying to fit in, neglecting your authentic self.

The result is a vanilla life – one deprived of your uniqueness, always chasing the approval of others.

In this article, you’ll learn about seven ideas to trust yourself by listening to your inner guide.

Let’s dive in!

What does it mean to trust yourself? 

Trusting yourself means having confidence in your intuition, judgment, and making decisions that align with your true self. 

The opposite is seeking approval from others to make decisions. You no longer trust your inner guidance but rely on external validation. 

But here’s an important note:

When you trust yourself and act confidently, you’ll still make wrong decisions and mistakes. That’s simply the byproduct of action. And that’s why so many people prefer to avoid it.

People who trust themselves know that too. 

The critical difference is that they don’t dwell on their mistakes or the judgment of others. Instead, they learn from it, and then they move on.

Making progress leads to self-trust.

And avoiding action out of fear does the exact opposite.

7 Powerful ideas to build self-trust

Relationships are built on trust. And the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself.

Just like in relationships with others, mistakes happen.

In fact, when you trust yourself and act with confidence, you’ll make more mistakes. That’s simply the price of action.

But that’s also how you learn and grow.

It’s how you reap better rewards and build a life you care about.

So, stop judging yourself so harshly for your mistakes. Instead, acknowledge them, learn from this new piece of information, and move forward.

Learn to trust yourself to make decisions and act on them. 

The following ideas will help you to trust yourself again so you can let go of external validation and finally create the life you care about.

#1: Embrace the awkwardness

Do you dislike silence in conversations? Do you hate it when you say something that gets frowned upon? And do you create stories to validate mistakes, like it wasn’t my fault because…

Then you may be stuck in a validation loop.

You want approval from others to feel good. And that’s the most important reason people feel trapped in life. 

After all, you better gain approval and avoid stepping on anyone’s toes before you take action.

Here’s the problem:

With a gazillion people, you can’t make everyone happy. And isn’t it challenging enough to live an authentic life that makes you happy? 

And here’s another problem:

If you’ve more conversations, you increase the chances of saying something awkward, weird, or something they disagree with. And if you take massive action on your goals, you’ll make more mistakes.

But the quality of life won’t improve by avoiding that.

Instead, the quality of your life improves by doing what feels right and throwing yourself into the unknown. And experience and embrace awkwardness when it occurs.

After all, what’s the big deal?

What’s the big deal about rejection?

What’s the big deal about making a mistake?

What’s the big deal about saying something weird?

The secret is not taking yourself too seriously. Avoid making everything personal. Sure, people may laugh. Laugh with them. 

Perhaps it was a stupid mistake. 

Perhaps you said something dumb.

That’s okay.

You’re not perfect. 

No one is. 

So stop attaching your self-worth to the validation of others.

After all, those who try to keep you down are struggling with themselves too. Confident people never tear others down but lift them up instead.

#2: Provide value

Are you ready for a big one?

Seek to add value at all times.

Shifting your focus from “Am I good enough?” towards “How can I add more value” can radically change your life.

It’s the shift from seeking validation to giving.

It shifts your focus away from yourself onto others.

And you don’t even need to trust yourself necessarily. You only need to have genuinely good intentions.

But that’s also where the challenge exists.

Most people provide value because they expect something later. For example, you walk the extra mile for a project, hoping to get a promotion. Or you buy a drink for your date, hoping that she goes home with you.

That’s not genuine value creation.

That’s manipulation. 

It’s still self-centered – and that’s the problem.

But if you give without expecting anything in return, that’s when the magic happens. That’s when you tap into the Law of Attraction. 

But it must be genuine.

It might take some practice.

You might feel upset when someone gets promoted whilst you did most of the work. But when that happens, know that your time will come.

Trust yourself and trust the process.

If you keep providing value from a genuine place, not only will you enjoy life much more, ultimately, the universe will reward you too.

#3: Do the “Self” work

It’s one of the most essential skills, yet, it was never taught to you in school.

And that’s introspection.

You see, self-awareness answers the most critical questions in life, like “what should I do in life?”. 

It sounds obvious, right?

But most people, including myself for a long time, create their life based on external validation. We all want to be liked. And it seems like money, fame, and status gives you everything your heart desires.

Most people enslave themselves to such outcomes.

And as a result, they’re never free.

(Even not when they achieve their goals.)

Developing trust in yourself means becoming aware of who you are, what you want to be best at, and what you care about most.

And let go of the rest.

It sounds so simple.

But this truth took me a while to figure out. In fact, self-discovery is a fluid process that takes a lifetime to master.

Learning about yourself takes work.

But it’s worth your effort.

If you want to get started, here’s how to gain self-awareness.

#4: Challenge your inner critic

Everyone has an inner voice that tries to protect them. And while it kept us alive for centuries, it often does more harm than good today.

That’s because that voice uses negativity to talk yourself out of things.

• I’m stupid, so why try to improve?
• I’m ugly, so why bother talking to that girl?
• I can’t do that, so why bother even trying?

Your negative self-talk is nothing more than an easy way out. 

And that’s what your survival instinct wants. Your brain tries to keep you safe. It doesn’t want you to take risks, talk to strangers, explore novel ideas, and try new things.

It wants you to stay in familiar territory. 

Yet, success comes from your ability to act despite this voice. That’s why you must challenge your inner critic.

Here’s how:

1. Acknowledge your inner critic: While your inner critic tries to keep you from taking “risky” actions, if it isn’t life-threatening, it most likely benefits you in the long run.
2. Question your inner critic: You’ll find answers to the questions you ask yourself, so ask better questions. Wonder why your inner critic is wrong and seek evidence to back that up. 
3. Reframe negative self-talk: Criticism like “I’m not good enough” is sometimes valid. Yet, taking action is what turns the bad into good. So reframe your beliefs to reflect the truth: “I will take action to improve myself and get better at X so that in the future, I’ll achieve Y.”
4. Prove your inner critic wrong through action. It’s the theme of this article, but ultimately, taking action is how you build self-trust. Start small and gradually smoke out your inner critic’s BS.

#5: Move forward

Trusting yourself is a muscle. 

If you work at it, it gets stronger.

But when people stop feeling confident, they often do the exact opposite of what they should do to regain it.

Rather than taking action and moving forward, we dwell on the past and worry about the future. We begin overanalyzing everything. And we stifle activity through a consistent bombardment of self-criticism.

The antidote?

Action.

If you want to trust yourself, you must earn it.

Fortunately, there’s an incredibly effective method. And that’s to start tiny. 

Make a small promise to yourself and keep it.

For example: 

• Commit to working out for 10 minutes today. 
• Work for half an hour on your side hustle. 
• Or clean up a small part of your room.

And then do it again tomorrow.

And again the next day.

You’ll build self-trust if you move forward, no matter how small you start.

#6: Focus on progress, not perfection

Perfectionists produce average work.

It’s an excuse for inaction and procrastination.

Instead, according to Seth Godin in his book: The Practice: Shipping Creative Work, you must put yourself on the hook.

Putting yourself on the hook means that you commit to creating and delivering. 

Then, you make it. 

And you ship it.

Simply said, focus on progress, not perfection.

After all, what does perfect mean anyway?

Perfection means different things to people. So, the first step is to decide who your work is for. And then aim to do your best work for them.

For example, your audience may be your boss at work. Or if you’re building a side hustle, it’s the niche you selected.

But guess what?

Making it perfect for those you’ve decided whom it’s for requires feedback and iteration. And you only get feedback when you ship your work.

That’s true for individuals and companies alike.

For example, did you know Apple created over 20 flopped products? And that Walt Disney failed 3 out of every five movies when first launched?

They failed because they shipped their work.

But they also succeeded for that reason – and that’s what you know them for today.

Besides, you never know how others will react. 

And guess what? 

You’ll often be wrong about it.

So it’s much better to ship your work, get feedback, learn from it, and improve your work or create something new.

That’s how you build greatness.

#7: Put yourself on the hook

It’s worth emphasizing that Seth Godin also states in his book that you should make your commitments public.

That’s how you put yourself on the hook.

When you commit publicly, you become accountable for your goal or objective. And that increases the chance that you follow through and take the necessary steps to succeed.

Why?

Simply because the alternative is more painful. It hurts to break your commitments. It sucks to avoid shipping when you promised to do so.

Putting yourself on the hook counteracts your ego.

After all, no one wants to bail out on their commitments. So following through is the only option.

Making public commitments is scary.

And that’s okay.

If you want to build self-trust slowly, start with a small commitment. For example, tell your partner that you’ll work out every day.

Create some momentum first.

And then make more significant commitments.

It’s a great way to motivate yourself when you don’t feel like it. And when you stick to your commitments, not only will you trust yourself again, you’ll also feel proud.

But don’t forget…

No one is perfect right out of the gate.

In fact, no one is perfect at all. 

Even the person you admire for specific reasons sucks at almost everything else. Some great businessmen aren’t so great in their relationships. Some rock stars deal with severe mental issues.

Everyone has their shortcomings, fuckups, and demons.

Everyone has their battles to fight.

And although you can choose to become exceptional at a few things in life, you’ll suck at everything else.

And that’s okay.

Choose your craft and focus on continuous self-improvement.

Acknowledge that you’ll make mistakes along the way. You’ll question yourself and experience self-doubt. And you’ll suck at almost everything.

Just like everybody else.

And that’s okay.

What’s next?

The core idea of this article is to stop seeking validation and, instead, start listening to your authentic self to create a life you care about.

Doing so makes you happier.

And when you’re happier, not only will you attract the right kind of people around you, you’ll also be able to provide more value to them.

So how do you get started?

While we covered seven different ideas, the central theme is simple:

Make a small promise to yourself – and keep it.

Whether that means going to the gym, talking to a stranger on the street or a colleague at work, or writing for 15 minutes a day.

Make a tiny commitment.

And get started.

Before you know it, you trust yourself again.

Do you want guidance to build self-trust?

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