Is it possible to manage anger, reduce its effects and enjoy calmness and tranquility? The answer is yes, but this requires some work and effort.
What does it take to have poise? It can feel like a rare commodity. You need it very much when you anger arises. Those who have experienced anger know the strain it can place on their lives.
While we may think that being angry is a positive way to react to a situation, research shows that when our emotions are triggered by negative experiences, they can lead to long-term consequences such as anxiety, depression, and physical ailments.
If you’ve felt like you’ve had your moments with anger lately, this article is for you!
We will explore how your reactions to anger can lead you down a path of inner turmoil and uncertainty.
We will also explore how the right approach and the right anger management can help prevent these issues from taking over your life.
Why Do We Get Angry?
Anger can be a healthy, well-placed response to some situations in life. But when it becomes excessive or uncontrollable, it can be harmful.
When anger becomes excessive, it is labeled as “pathological” anger.
Pathological anger can cause people to feel negative emotions, such as guilt, shame, or embarrassment. They may also begin to feel aggressive and harmful towards the people they are mad at.
Excessive anger or “magnified anger” happens when we become angry “too quickly” or “to a degree that is greater than normal.” This can also be referred to as “irrational anger.”
The key here is that excessive anger can quickly turn into excess stress. When you become angry “too quickly,” you may experience “heightened autonomic nervous system arousal,” which adds more stress to your life.
Ways to Manage Anger and Increase Poise and Tranquility
How can we manage anger and increase poise and tranquility?
To do so, we need to recognize the signs of anger, acknowledge the situation, and then do some inner work.
Here are a few ways to manage anger, reduce and it and reject it.
1. Recognize the Warning Signs of Anger
When you feel yourself getting angry, make sure you recognize the warning signs.
Anger is a normal emotional state that comes about naturally. When you feel yourself getting angry, you may feel as though your blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing speed up. You may also notice that your muscles tense up, as your body prepares to fight or flee.
If you notice any of these signs when you’re feeling angry, try to calm yourself down. If you can, try to take a step back and think of a less-confrontational way to handle the situation.
You may find that you weren’t even aware that you were “getting angry” in the first place.
2. Accept the Situation, Then Reject the Anger
When you feel yourself getting angry, acknowledge it. When you’re feeling angry, try to acknowledge and accept the fact that you feel the way you do.
It’s important to recognize the negative outcomes of your anger. When you’re angry, realize that you can harm yourself or others. Once you’ve acknowledged your anger and identified how you may be hurting yourself or others, you should try to overcome the anger.
In an effort to manage your anger, you can also try to suppress it or “ignore it” by focusing on something else.
3. Practice Self-Compassion When You Feel Upset
When you’re feeling upset, try to engage in self-compassion. This may sound a little odd, but it’s crucial to your health.
Self-criticism can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. People who engage in self-criticism tend to over-react to situations, are more likely to harm themselves.
Self-criticism is so harmful because it tells you, “You aren’t good enough.” This can lead to feelings of worthlessness, which can cause significant harm to your mental health.
When you’re feeling upset and want to lash out at yourself, try to engage in self-compassion. This means, in your mind, you’re saying to yourself, “I understand that I am feeling upset right now, but there is no need for that.
4. Take a Break from Your Day-to-Day Activities When You Are Upset
When you’re feeling angry, don’t freak out. Take a break from your day-to-day activities. This can be for a few minutes, hours, or a complete day, depending on the anger and situation.
When angry, tell yourself, “I need to take a break from my anger and do something calming.” This would help you manage anger and cool down.
There are countless ways to relax and calm yourself down.
Here are a few suggestions:
- Listen to music. –
- Spend time with a friend or loved one.
- Take a walk.
- Watch a comedy on TV
- Have a cup of tea. –
- Take a shower.
- Hum quietly to yourself.
- Get some sleep.
5. Wait Before Reacting
Sometimes anger comes from an external source, such as an argument with a loved one, co-worker, or a stranger, or due to a case of harassment.
If this is the case, try to wait before you react to the situation. If you know that you are feeling “hot’ with anger, try to wait before you react.
In your mind, you may be saying something like: “I don’t want to react right now. I need to calm down first.”
6. Develop Detachment
There are many benefits to developing a sense of detachment in your life. Developing a sense of detachment can help you feel better in the long run.
This detachment is characterized by “the experience of being outside of your feelings and emotions.”
Dealing with anger without lashing out can be difficult, but it can be done if you try to keep your emotions in check.
When angry, tell yourself, “These are feelings I am experiencing, but I don’t have to accept them. I don’t want them to be part of me. They will not determine how I react. I can choose my reactions and stay calm.”
A little dose of detachment is one of the best and most effective ways to manage anger and get rid of it.
Develop emotional detachment with the help of our book Emotional Detachment for Happier Life.
7. Learn to Avoid Taking Things Personally
When you’re feeling angry, try to remind yourself that “it’s not about you.” This may sound silly, but try it. In your mind, you may be saying something like, “It’s not about me. I just have to deal with whatever situation is in front of me.”
Try to keep this in mind when you’re handling situations where you may be angry. Try to remind yourself that “it’s not about you,” and focus on the situation at hand.
8. Bring Mindfulness into Your Life
Mindfulness is a powerful practice that can transform your life in many ways. It involves paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations in a non-judgmental way.
By bringing mindfulness into your life, you can improve your mental and emotional well-being, reduce stress and anxiety, and reduce angry feelings.
In conclusion, Managing anger and cultivating poise and tranquility is essential for leading a fulfilling life. It requires a combination of self-awareness, mindfulness, and intentional practices to maintain emotional balance and respond to situations with clarity and calmness.
By acknowledging and managing negative emotions, practicing gratitude, adopting a growth mindset, and engaging in self-care, you can enhance your emotional intelligence and experience greater poise and tranquility in your life.
Remember that this is a continuous journey, and it takes time and effort to master these skills. With consistent practice and perseverance, you can overcome anger and cultivate a peaceful and joyful life.
“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred.”
– Thomas Jefferson
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