A marriage is a partnership between two people who share almost everything and go through good and bad times together. But one of the most common issues marriages face stems from money.
Money problems are among the leading causes of divorce. Of course, it doesn’t help that there are so many different misconceptions about how money should be handled, even by couples.
Some people believe that husbands should handle all the financial burden in the marriage. In contrast, others believe that wives should help financially to reduce the burden on the husband.
In this story, one man shares his story of trying to get his wife to chip into the family pocketbook.
Planning The Family Trip
u/MightyManicMonkeyMan (OP) is planning to go on a trip with his family, but he’s not sure he can handle the entire expenses alone this time. He suggests his wife chip in, but that doesn’t go well with her.
He has had no issue bearing the financial burden in the marriage all the while they’ve been living together (ten years now). But this might be too much for him to handle alone. Hint, it’s over $3,000.
A Little Help
He figured his wife could help handle the extra $500 they would spend at a local theme park. Before this trip, he had been the one handling everything for the ten years they’d been living together.
He has been handling all expenses, from rent to car payments, insurance, utilities, vacations, and groceries. So, he thought this shouldn’t be such a big deal. It wasn’t like his wife wasn’t working and earning herself. If she weren’t earning, it would have been a different case. But she was earning.
But it didn’t go as planned. She got upset and didn’t talk to him all through the night. But, again, he had been handling everything before now. He was simply asking for a bit of support from his wife. But the only response he received was the silent treatment.
Now he wants to know if it was wrong for him to suggest his wife pay the extra $500 for the tickets while he handled the $3,000 for the rest of the vacation.
Unhealthy Financial Arrangement
Most people are on OP’s side. He has done his best, and for a long time, he just needed a little support from his wife for a trip they would all enjoy. But she doesn’t want any responsibilities.
It is pretty selfish of her to act that way, don’t you think? It says a lot about her attitude toward money.
u/BogBabe asked OP an important question:
“It sounds like her income is ‘her money,’ and your income is ‘our money.’ What, if anything, does your wife pay for?”
OP replied, “She pays for a sports class our kid goes to, other than that, she buys groceries and gas sometimes.” But, of course, because he does most of the spending, you’d expect her to be more understanding this one time.
Someone pointed out the differences in their earnings:
“Something seems off with your numbers. You say you make ‘slightly’ more than her, yet you pay for literally everything and she pays for nothing but somehow you both have equal amounts of savings? Either you’re making a lot or she’s spending insane amounts of money.”
u/RiamoEquah expressed disapproval of the financial partnership between OP and his wife. They think it’s unhealthy, and I agree.
It also seems like there might be some entitlement mentality between OP’s wife and his money. Why else would she act this way?
To answer OP’s question, everyone agrees he isn’t the problem. However, he might have to sit with his wife and have an honest conversation about their finances as soon as possible.
What do you think?
I’m intrigued by her thoughts on money and gender roles in a marriage.
A thread inspired this post.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock.