Trust Issues: Girlfriend Desperate to Make Relationship Work, Requires Access to Cheating Boyfriend’s Phone

The motive behind infidelity is one concept many people struggle to understand. The fact that someone would hurt their partner so deeply and shatter what took weeks, months and even years to build is baffling. Yet, it is common.

The lady in this story, we’ll call her OP, is in a relationship with a man who’s an alcohol addict and a cheater.

I know how tough it is around an alcoholic, but still, OP makes it work. She wants the relationship — but for it to happen, her boyfriend has to give her access to his phone.

Guys Night Out

OP and her boyfriend, who have been dating for almost four years, went out with some of his new friends. She even gave him a ride down there but didn’t join the boys at the hangout.

There’s probably no harm in a group of guys hanging together, and if I were OP, I would want to allow my boyfriend to socialize with other people.

However, knowing the kind of person he is, I wouldn’t say she made the right decision.

He had fun, all right. So much fun that by the end of the night, he was blacked out. But not before finding a girl to warm his arms. A girl he went home with.

Lights Out

By the time the night ended, OP’s boyfriend had blacked out but somehow managed to find his way home with some other girl.

She explained that he started abusing alcohol early on and that blacking out was normal for him when he drank. But apparently, he can’t stop himself from drinking to the point that he blacks out.

But isn’t OP just making excuses for him?

She woke up around 3:30 AM, and he wasn’t in bed. She was extremely worried that something terrible happened to him.

Finding Her Boyfriend

She texted him to be sure he was safe, but he didn’t reply. So, she started pinging his phone via Google Find My Device. After a while, he finally replied, “I’m coming home.”

And for all the time she spent trying to reach him and all the worry she felt, that was all he sent. He may black out when drunk, but it looks like he’s aware of his actions.

She was already suspicious about where he was and what he was doing or had done.

Finally, he returned, but he lied about what he did. Somehow, because women are naturally gifted investigators, the truth came out.

He claimed he wanted to tell her the truth the next day because they already had plans.

Now, she wants to make the relationship work, and I don’t see why. She’s lost all trust in him, though, and figured one way to regain it would be by accessing his phone.

Of course, he didn’t like the idea. But, in his defense, he used to be in a relationship where his girlfriend would always go through his phone to find reasons to get angry.

He added that he still had a right to his privacy.

This situation would drive anyone crazy, and OP seems confused about what to do or think.

She wonders if she’s wrong for demanding access to his phone if the relationship is to go on.

OP is a Bigger Jerk

Viewers online have weighed in on this story and are not sparing OP in their judgment. But, just as I think, they don’t understand why she’s so eager to make the relationship work when it’s so apparent how deeply it’s sunk.

One person said, “You’re wasting your time with a cheating, black-out drunk who’s not even sorry for what he did. You allowing this man in your life is going to cause you more damage than you can imagine…”

Another person commented with a similar opinion: “YTA to yourself. And a bigger one than he will ever be, because you should love yourself enough to not put yourself through this. He’s not going to treat you better than you treat yourself.”

Finally, someone pointed out a different reason why she’s probably wrong in this story.

“YTA. I despise people who cheat. However, that doesn’t give you a remind to demand to break his privacy. Trust is important in a relationship. If you (rightfully) can’t trust him, you shouldn’t be with him. Why are you trying to force a relationship that clearly no one is happy in?”

Don’t Stay

She heard the truth from others since she seems blind to it.

The one thing you shouldn’t do is hurt yourself. OP is bound to repeatedly hurt herself by staying with a guy like that.

No one appears to be on her side. So now, she has to decide if the relationship is worth fighting for or if it’s time to let it go.

What do you think?

A thread inspired this post.

This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.